So it has been almost 3 weeks that I have been unemployed. No job. No rules. No alarms. No money, in that sense. (The music playing at the background by the way is a an EP release by Ordinary Neighbors. Do check them out, they are pretty sick).
Some said I lost my direction. Yeah. True. Honestly, yep, I am lost. I seek for salvation and I mean jobs around. Even the short and uninsured jobs, I get in. I don’t like it, of course. From my previous job: I didn’t like my workmates, my boss, the food (yep there is a free food they give us workers). I am not comfortable but I still work harmoniously with them. But who am I to complain? I am nobody. I am a fresh graduate. I don’t have much experience, the experience they need overlooking my skills and capacity.
By the way, I stink. I haven’t taken a bath for two days now. Yeah, practicing hermit-ism. The milk I drank today was good. Fresh from the fridge. I gave cups to my lone survivor cat and two other dogs. We shared. I drank theirs too. We’re friends. More like a family. Yeah.
I never complain about my job. I care for it. Not everyone knows that. I may sound like a yakking machine nagging about how stinky the comfort room we share in our workplace is, how my bosses are the most horrible people on earth, lag computers running on XP and pirated Vistas and 7s, but believe me, I swear on earth that they never heard me voice out about how these discomfort could bring. Until of course when I dropped a cherry bomb last month. Things I never regret telling actually.
I saw her face. It was the most stress-relieving sight that has enlightened me that I have been asking for for so long.
Anyway, I am done reading Archie comics. I am nagging and budging my boyfriend to buy me one. I really want to have as many books I want. They keep me company during day and nights that I do not have someone to talk to. Which is the usual by the way.
My phone rang a while ago. Globe called me. They’re cutting my line because I have not paid my postpaid bill yet. Sheesh, man, so out-of-timing. My funds are drained these days. But yeah, I will pay. I have to. Or I don’t.
I do not like answering to calls and texts during weekends by the way. I wish to spend my time alone… or with my boyfriend (usually), or with real people. Got burnt out from my previous job where I would constantly nag sources for a newscoop (which is mostly not); most I have never come across with. Who wants to call people who you do not know at all at 8 a.m.?
Yeah, I thought so too.
If life would be at my feet’s comfort, I see myself way beyond amazing. True. But I guess, fortunately, I am not meant to procrastinate all day and practice my craft whenever I want. If I were a kid like that, if I grew up that way, then I would never learn things the hard way. Challenges these days are just meant to be challenges, nothing else; not like the way I treated challenges before, as if my world is going to end. But still, just the same, I still feel that my world is ending tonight. Aside from being jobless and being immensely meek, I am not happy. Or no longer happy?
Yeah people say I worry too much. But my worries are actually some sort of premonitions that I would end up bad if I am not going to get my ass up and start dodging and creating newer pathways to take to achieve whatever I want in life.
I like my boyfriend by the way. I could not say anymore. Although there are few things I want to correct, yep, correct, but I do not wish to force alter things he is doing for me. Fuck it.
My previous company has not paid a single centavo for my last pay because they held onto it per policy daw. But bitch please. Face it, bankruptcy is calling you and your “boss” is still bragging on her seat the whole time up to now. Well I hope her vagina rots to her seat.
The world is changing, I see revolution at the end of this. Arab Spring, pro-democracy protests in Hongkong, Purisima declaring his houses are ridiculously simple (talk to my asshole, it might respond), etc And I am still jobless. Still in my seat complaining.
Did you know that one of my comforts in life is sleeping without any shorts on, just plain panties and better if a boyfriend would be around. Idk, it is truly comforting.
I just wanna cry. I have been sobbing the whole day whenever I can like while washing dishes or sneezing through the wad of tissues. It is depressing. This writing by the way is written according to how my brain dismisses unorganized thoughts.
I want to drink coffee. I miss coffee. And I miss my ‘me time’. But I miss going to work, most of all. I want to disregard this feeling, it rattles my thoughts.
Fuck it. Fuck. Maybe I need a beer?